A pregnant co-worker lost her baby last week, at 4 months. I didn't know her that well - mostly just from quick chats in the elevator or a conversation at the company picnic. She told her boss to tell everyone because she didn't to have to explain when she comes back to work, to endure a question like "How's the baby?" from someone who didn't konw.
I really feel for her loss. Especially because I love, LOVE Garcon so much. I remember feeling overwhelmed when I first found out I was having Garcon. In the beginning, I wondered if he would "stick" or if he'd be lost. Perversely, as you're trying to imagine your life with a baby, you wonder if it wouldn't be better to not have a baby. But by the time four months rolled around, I was almost used to the idea of being pregnant. By six months, I loved being pregnant. So I can't imagine her pain.
Someone in the media department organized a card and a gift, which we all contributed to. The group card had many signatures, but they all said the same things:
I'm sorry for your loss
My thoughts are with you
Take care
I wrote something similarly bland. When she comes back, I want to give her space, but still know I'm thinking of her. The word equivalent to a hug & I'm here for you - but for an aquaintence. I haven't the right words to say - but I'm sure I'll come up with something.
* * * * *
Ultimately, I decided less is more. I stopped by her office, gave her a hug and said welcome back. I asked her to let me know if I can do anything. She gasped back tears, and said thank you. And I left.
Since it's easy to just leave it at that - "Oh, I offered her help...I've done my part now" - but I know no one ever asks for help. So I think I'm going to check in on her again in a week. Just the same amt of "I'm here" as before.
