So I've been especially glad lately in my real life. I might even say I'm filled with Joy. And Peace. Which for me, is kind of unusual. Not that I'm an unhappy person, but usually I'm pretty angsty when I open up. Even in high school, I was a worrier, a bit self-conscious. I was generally happy in college, a bit angsty in the first few years post-college and first few years of marriage. I definitely still worry. Too Much. But lately, less angst!
I can't put my finger on exactly why. It could be one thing. It could be a number of things all taken together. Here's a few of the things that I've been happy about recently:
- A good marriage that became great when we had a baby and really/truly had to team up to survive.
- A beautiful, curious, fast on his knees, well-developing baby.
- A new position at the old company, a great new team and the end to the job search.
- A growing friendship with my sister-in-law Honig, more proof that females grow stronger together when we support each other.
- An improving relationship with my mom, who I understand a little more each day that I'm a mother. Not to say she doesn't frustrate me immensely at times.
- And here's the one that I think makes the most difference: I'm writing about my worries here, rather than acting them out in real life. I think my outlook began improving at about the time I began blogging regularly, began reading the accounts of other new moms, began realizing that the things that bother me are more universal and not isolating.
Her Bad Mother wrote about it here and inspired this blog - as did one of HBM's readers, who commented about the Power of Negative Thinking. Getting it out on page here, helps me get it together in real life. Amazing. Is it overstating to say it's a life-saver?
P.S. I have to give credit where due - if not for the inspiration of Bokumbop, I might not have started blogging.
