Sometimes, secretly, I hope for a boy.

Reading this article in Philadelphia magazine, I wonder what the world of little girls will be like in another 10 years.

http://www.phillymag.com/articles/pretty_babies/page1

While the examples cited are probably exceptions and not the rule, we do participate in an upper-middle circle. I can only imagine what pressures a daughter will face in middle school and high school.

I'm not quite identifying with the moms in the article - but I do enjoy beauty treatments, hair removal, and if not for the ongoing maintenance of Botox, might consider it. (I'm just too practical and/or lazy to get a treatment that lasts only three months.)

At work, I'm in an industry where an appealing, polished appearance is as much a part of the package as is knowing your stuff and thinking on your feet. We aren't tasked with being models or wearing just-this-minute fashion, but the expectation is that you're putting your best foot forward. This is especially true when meeting with clients or making presentations.

So over time, I've become more groomed than when I started - but don't most women, regardless of industry, regardless of work status? As we grow older, we just become better at loving ourselves and highlighting our strengths. And like the writer noted, we love our present selves as all the more because we remember where we've been and what we learned in the "awkward" years. We look back at those pictures and smile, wincing at how tough it was to be 13 and have feathered bangs, or a side ponytail.

So it's with some slight measure of guilt that I wonder if I can just dodge the beauty bullet and have another son. I realize that boys and young men have a set of pressures all their own, but somehow I feel better prepared to navigate that world than help a daughter feel secure amidst aspiring pre-teen model types. I know that in my pre-teen experience, it was really tough, and I'd want her to have a better go of it. And would I become a mom like those profiled? I hope not.

About the whole J&J thing...agency perspective

By now if you're a regular blogger or blog reader, especially in the momosphere, you've heard about the J&J issue with Camp Baby. What was designed to be a PR home-run has become a PR nightmare of case study proportions. Go here for a good marketing analysis, here about Julie's and Stephania's experiences and here about J&J's response.

I'm fascinated by this, because the dialog between mom readers and writers is compelling - as is the description of agency-mom interaction as well as corporate-agency interaction.

You see, I work for a marketing and branding consultancy (read: "agency") that designs then implements corporate marketing and PR plans. More than likely, the agency PR team brainstormed some ideas, pitched them to J&J and Camp Baby was born. The idea was likely incubated (no pun intended) by a team of people, probably comprised of both J&J and agency. J&J corporate PR people, and any agency client, actually, are incredibly busy. They have a million demands on their time and two million emails to read daily. I am positive they all care about the business of babies - they love the industry, care about children and are proud of the work they produce, but until you've walked a mile in the shoes of a mother, it's really hard to understand what it's like until you are one (thanks, Her Bad Mother) it's hard to anticipate the nuances of being a mom and logistics of newborns especially, until you've done it.

More than likely, this program was planned, developed, and implemented by a small team of 22-32 year olds, 80% women, none (or one) with children. And she has a nanny. This is the reality of the agency and marketing world for working women. It's not an easy business for someone with a family. You have to have a dedicated child care plan in place - whether day care, nanny, babysitter, etc. The "easy day" hours are 9-6 pm and there are frequent travel and evening work requirements. It's just the nature of the job.

What's interesting is that there are many, many women in the junior and mid-level ranks. Few men at all. But by the time you get to the senior levels, there are more men than women. Part of this is due to natural attrition - the same "brain drain" that every industry experiences when thirty-something women take a look at a job and decide it's just not worth it with a family. I'm right there with you - I was very ready to take that old job and shove it - the commute, the travel, the client industry - and stay home.

Fortunately, an amazing opportunity presented at a new agency - I mean, marketing and branding consultancy - just 15 minutes (in traffic) from home, and that includes the stop by my son's wonderful daycare. When I decided to job-search, I made a point to look for jobs only within a FIVE mile radius of my home. It could have ended my career - that can be a major sacrifice for most workers. Fortunately, I live in the central west suburbs of Chicago, so there were some options - and one perfect one - nearby. It wasn't such a sacrifice.

Back to J&J. The agency team planning this event cares, they really do, they're unhappy it didn't work out as planned, but honestly, they were moving too fast and without enough oversight from someone with experience to really get it worked out right.

Sounds like the invitation wasn't even clear. [Hey, if you have one, send me a link!] Check yes or no if you can attend? No logistics? No detailed requirements? Not well thought out, even by "moving too fast" standards. Whatever J&J is paying their agency - and I can assure you, it's A LOT OF MONEY - they are not getting the service and attention from senior agency people that they deserve. I'm 30 and I can tell you that a lot of the work done at my agency is by junior people. With just eight years in the industry, I'm now considered, amazingly, a veteran and troubleshoot a lot of my younger colleagues mistakes before they happen - because I've made them myself.

This whole issue was preventable, but mistakes happen all the time in the marketing business. Unfortunately, they just made a huge mistake with one of most communicative and marketing-savvy audiences - blogging moms. This one is worthy of advertising textbook case studies. And I think I'll mention it to my alma mater.

In the meantime, I can't wait for the post-camp reports to roll in. Jodi of momsfavoritestuff.com, or Christine of fromdatestodiapers.com, or Jamie blondemomblog.com, or Erika plainjanemom.com, I'll be waiting!

Gripe

The woman in the office next door to mine clears her throat.

Constantly.

One morning, it seemed like she had something stuck in her throat. This was the first time I noticed it at all. After literally 10 minutes of constant coughing and throat-clearing, I got up and walked next door. We're friendly enough that I feel comfortable saying to her, "It sounds like you have a cough - here, have some hard candies."

But since that time, I've noticed that the periodic throat clearing continues. All day.

It's quiet enough...it's just a little ahem-hem-hem. But it's happened at least five times since I began writing this post. If only it were a drinking game - I'd be well on my way!